Feb 252010


(10 keys of Trust) x (7 keys of Respect) = Ultimate Rapport Formula

Part 1– 10 Key of Trust

“People like to do business with people they know, like and trust”

This formula is not intended for an end all, be all for rapport building and connecting. The most important thing in any interaction is to always be sincere in every thing you say, do or act upon. With that said many of the ingredients in the formula below are not required to be done all at once or during a short exchange. This is meant to be an overall view of the best ways to enhance the relationship between you and the party you choose to connect with. This post relates mainly to business, but is applicable in any relationship!

10 Keys to Trust

The first factor in creating rapport is Trust. Trust is about who you are connecting with and how to connect with them!

1) Relate 1st Party/ 3rd Party

People always feel more comfortable with people they have something in common with. In order to find that common ground there are two ways to go about it. You can try the 1st party approach-where you speak for yourself or the third party approach where you say something from someone elses point of view.

1st party example:

“I love (xyz team). My favorite player is (Smith), how about yours?”

If you can not find common ground, leverage the 3rd party.

3rd party example:

“A good friend of mine is from (xyz town) and says it’s gorgeous there.”

2) Give Them a Gift (Compliment or Referral)

The power of a “sincere” compliment can go a long way. This can be done almost immediately when you meet a person or can be used to break the ice. As you find out more about what they do you can give them a quality referral thus showing them you can add more value to their life.

3) Sincerely Curious (Keep Them Talking)

The key is sincerity! You can do this by asking questions and asking for details.
The more people talk the more comfortable they feel.

4) Mirror Their Energy/ Mood

If you are normally a high energy person and you notice that you are talking to a laid back individual than SLOW  DOWN. Otherwise they may feel uncomfortable and diminish any chance of a connection.

5) Share a Story

Stories allow you to connect emotionally and build on any 1st or 3rd party connections that you made earlier in the conversation or relationship.
Tell the story of that one fishing trip on the lake or the pee-wee football game you attended on Sunday.

6) Give Them Something for Free (sample, free tour/info)

People love free! Point blank! Period! The reason “free” builds trust is because it shows that you are out to provide value first, before anything else!

7) Agree with Them

Simple, yet profound! People love to be right. Simple sayings such as (“I agree”, “I can appreciate that”, or “I see what you’re saying”) go a long way in a conversation. (that is, if it’s actually true 😉

8) Relate Emotionally

At times you will find that you do not have anything in common with someone (Wrong!) You always have something in common with someone.

“Have you ever been excited?”
“Really? So have I!”
“How did it feel to be excited? Yea, and what were you excited about?”
“ Was it everything you thought it was going to be?”
“Man, that’s great I remember the last time I was really excited it was when__________.”

I think you get the point!

9) Common Enemy

This often plays a big role in looking to partner with someone. As sad as it may or may not sound; the reality of the matter is people often find a stronger bond in what they hate more than in what they love. People whom would never other-wise associate have come together in histories past to fight for a cause or to rebel against a tyrant.

10) Communicate to Their Style

There is something to be said about the different communication styles visual, auditory, kinesthetic and digital. If you are unfamiliar with these styles or would like more information on how to become a more effective communicator; I would recommend “Law of Connection” by Michael J. Losier.

Post By Chris Nunez

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