The average child is told “no” approximately 40,000 times and told “yes” approximately 5,000 times before the age of 5. No wonder most people grow up with fear of rejection and failure!
Since we took our first steps the negative programming began. Don’t touch this, don’t do that, NO, put it down you are going to break it! Since, from such an early age we are bombarded with negative reinforcement it becomes imperative that we must now overload ourselves with positive reinforcement. It is very simple and easy to change our beliefs; we do it all the time at the drop of a hat. You do it everyday, month, and year whether you believe it or not. For instance this week maybe you got a later start to the week then usual and someone asks “what day of the week is it?” You respond “it’s Monday,” then someone overhears you and says “what are you talking about, it’s Tuesday.” You aren’t going to sit there and argue with them about the day of the week, you accept it and change what you believe the day of the week is. So why do we make such easy changes in our thoughts and vocabulary out to be so difficult when it requires the same amount of energy to change what you believe the day is to changing your beliefs about your self worth?
Here are a few steps which may help you out. When ever you think of something or say something in the negative, catch yourself and allow your mind to rephrase the thought to something in a positive context. You can even do this when dealing with unpleasant people (this take some real mental effort sometimes). Say you are dealing with some one you are totally convinced is a complete idiot and you are thinking to yourself “wow, I cannot believe how idiotic this person is,” whether you realize it our not negative energy is being exerted in their direction which is not helping their idiocy. So, here is what you can try next time you are in a situation like this. Next time as you are thinking to yourself “Wow, this person is an idiot” try adding after that thought, “but you know what, I bet they are much more intelligent then I am giving them credit for they are just having an off day or maybe they just don’t completely understand what they are doing.” Thinking this way will get you onto a more constructive way of thinking, and will at least give you something to laugh about.
There are many techniques and books out there you can utilize that will further help you while you talk to your self. For instance, a great one is “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself,” by Shad Helmstetter. How much more direct can it get?!?
Good luck, and remember “Happiness is something we decide ahead of time!”